Tunnel Vision
by jehc
Summary: Capt Janeway and Lt Paris talk about her fears.


Tom found her in the Astrometrics lab. The Captain was looking at star charts from the Alpha Quadrant, home. Captain Kathryn Janeway and her crew had been transported seventy thousand light years across the galaxy. For the past eight years they have been traveling towards home. In four days they would be there. She would be able to look out into space and see those stars, not an image but the real deal. This is a woman whose small frame belied her great strength. To her crew she is larger then life. It seems that she has kept them alive and moving by sheer force of will. Any member of the crew would die for her. They trusted her. If Captain Janeway says that they will be home in four days then they will.

One year previously Ensign Harry Kim and Seven of Nine had approached the captain with a plan. Working together they had found a way to consolidate technologies from three different species. Each of these technologies represented a failed promise but together were an amazing success much like their creators. Harry Kim was a green ensign on his first mission, eager to please and afraid to fail. Eight years later he was a man to be reckoned with. His instinct and creativity were beyond compare and his work flawless. His confidence and strength is a constant inspiration to his crewmates.

Seven of Nine was a former Borg drone. Having been assimilated at the age of six and rescued at twenty four, she had 18 years of knowledge assimilated from her captors. This was combined with an incredible intellect inherited from her scientist parents. Janeway's controversial liberation and protection of the woman had paid off a thousand fold.

The two shipmates pooled creativity and intelligence was an unparalleled combination. This resulted in a space folding, slipstreaming, subspace tunnel. Three months of creating and one month of traveling brought the crew ten thousand light years closer to home.

At first Janeway was concerned that opening what amounted to a superhighway to the federation would be irresponsible. The project was delayed until a way to collapse the tunnel was developed. But now here they were 4 days out and counting!

Voyager was almost through its last sprint. In four days, when they exit the tunnel, the crew of the starship Voyager will be home. The excitement was palpable. Every crewmember's face hurt from smiling. The captain however was a different story. She acted more like she was heading to a funeral while everyone else was off to a party. Hence her Lt, her pilot and one of the few people she counted as a friend found her alone and somberly stargazing.

"Hi" He said quietly from the doorway.

She turned to him, eyebrow cocked in a questioning manner. Her face clearly showed irritation at the interruption to her solitude.

"Yes Lt," her voice was low and sounded annoyed.

Tom smiled and moved closer. "I was hoping we could talk."

Janeway's voice softened as she responded. "How can I help you,Tom?"

He shook his head. "I am here to help you."

Her captain's mask fell down on to her face. "I am fine."

"Kathryn," her eyes widened at the rare use of her name. "I have known you at some level most of my life. In some ways we lived the same life. Fleet brats of the upper echelon. Kids' who's fathers expected much. Adults with regrets that our fathers have not seen what we have become."

"Your point, Mr. Paris." Her voice took on a steely quality. His smile never faultered.

"I know you. I understand your lack of celebration. I see the look in your eyes that others are calling 'the classic Janeway calm.' I know that it is fear."

Janeway visibly bristled at the comment. He could see her as a tiger with her back up ready to pounce but his expression never changed. She did not jump down his throat as he expected. She looked in his eyes and then sat heavily down on the dais. She put her face in her hands.

"So what is it that you think I am afraid of?"

Tom sat down next to her. "You are afraid of two things that the next four days may bring. What if the tunnel collapses or if we need to exit early? The other times, the times we didn't get there, the crew was disappointed , but you were scarred."

Janeway nodded but refused to look up.

"In some ways you are equally afraid of what will happen when we exit the tunnel and are right were we belong. My father was your mentor. Almost a second father to you. Bringing me home - bringing the wayward son home as an officer - will make him so proud. Your father won't be there, but mine will be the next best thing."

"You want to be strong that day. You want to face him as the captain that you are. When you hail him and the weight of the world comes off your shoulders, you don't want to let it show. You don't want to cry."

The Captain looked up in shock. His knowledge of her inner workings amazed her. She didn't bother to dispute the truth.

"Kathryn, we have been so focused at the end of the tunnel we have missed the goal. Allow me to allay your fears."

"Really, Lt Paris, and how exactly can you do that before 4 days are up."

In the cocky voice she secretly loved he said, "Ahhh Ma'am I can do that before four minutes are up." Tom held up his arm and showed her his wrist. "This is what was called a wrist watch in the 20th century."

Janeway looked at the time piece and waited. He explained to her how the hands of the clock represented time. "So when the big hand is on the four and the little hand is on the three it will be twenty minutes past three or fifteen twenty our time."

Janeway looked both interested and curious. "And this helps how?" Her voice sounded a little lighter.

Toms smile turned in to a grin. "We have been so focused on the end of the tunnel, we forgot to focus on the goal. Home for our crew members is many different places. No one lives at the end of the tunnel, Kathryn. Our goal has always been to get back to the Alpha Quadrant so everyone could go to their homes. Watch the watch, at twenty past three we cross that imaginary line. We will still be in this tunnel but this tunnel will be in the Alpha Quadrant. If we have to exit, if the tunnel fails, it changes nothing. We will be in the Alpha quadrant either way.

She stared at the watch with wide eyes. The long skinny hand swept around the circle. Two minutes left, now one. Thirty seconds left and Kathryn started shaking. At ten seconds he started to whisper in her ear. "Three…two…one…mission accomplished."

She looked at him with eyes filled with both hope and fear. "You're sure?" Her words came out in a whisper.

Tom chuckled. "Seven felt the info was irrelevant but she calculated it for me herself. Do you doubt her accuracy?"

"Never" she said in wonder as she stood up from the dais and began to straighten her tunic.

Tom put his hand on her shoulder. "Wait," he said. "Computer, seal the doors of the Astrometrics lab authorization Paris alpha delta alpha."

Janeway's eyebrow went up in surprise.

"Time to dismiss all your fear." He pulled her to him in a hug "Welcome home, Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Star Ship Voyager."

As the weight of the world lifted off her shoulders, sobs came up from deep in her chest. She cried for the crew that didn't make it. She cried for the years lost with family and friends. Happy tears came for what was accomplished and angry tears for the misery they saw and couldn't help. It is said the natives of Earth's frozen north had over a hundred words for snow. Kathryn Janeway had a hundred types of tears combined in one 20 minute crying jag.

As his tunic became wet with her tears, Tom felt some of his own fall into her hair. He knew this time he got it right, he helped more then he hurt. Years later he would never be able to explain when or how they formed a friendship that brought them together in this moment. So many things between them good and bad. He was just grateful that in the end he was there with her.

When Kathryn began to pull away he let her. "When you hail Starfleet, your composure will become Starfleet legend. The Captain of the lost ship delivers them home as calmly as if they had just gone for a test drive."

She responded with a gentle smile, eyes cleared of pain and fear. "Thank you, Tom." She went to the replicator and got a cold cloth to put her face back in order. She held out her hand and headed towards the door. "Come along Captain Proton, it is time to inform the crew." He unsealed the door as she let go of his hand. Two Starfleet officers ready for duty.


End file.
